changes

I was still deeply sad and desperately missed my son. There would always be a hole in my heart that could never be replaced. I woke up that afternoon and felt different, and the effects of the experience stayed with me for a few days. It is hard to describe - it was an energy and lightness that I carried with me. It helped me to realize that if I felt such euphoric bliss and love from a short time in a darkened healing place then what unimaginable experience was my son feeling actually being in God's light. Changes started to happen immediately to me. The first things I noticed was I had little tolerance for television. It seemed like such garbage and a huge waste of time. Certain kinds of music and background noise became especially irritating. Things that interested me in the past became frivolous and not important. Some of my friendships from "before" dissolved. I found that certain personalities repelled me, others I felt an unusually deep connection to. I found myself in situations and circumstances where I was meeting exactly the people I needed in my life. I could feel an energetic presence around me at times that would bring back some of the euphoric bliss that I felt the night of my experience. The more I was aware and accepting of it, the more it would happen. I also realized that all of the background noise and disturbances that I eliminated from my life now allowed me to be in a state of serene peace. While in this quiet state of mind I was able to feel things. I was drawn to mediation and yoga for the first time in my life. This opened a door that allowed me to have a glimpse into my sons world.