he is always with me


I am a mother grieving the tragic death of my 14 year old son. This is a place for me to document my journey through grief, awakening and healing. I was given a gift from the other side that is giving me the strength to continue on.
I am sharing with the hope of bringing awareness and consciousness to others of the forever binding power of LOVE.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

my prayer was answered

I woke up ready to tackle my goal for day which was to get through it. I followed my usual routine, only caring for two children not three. I Got both of them off to school for the day. I sat and had a cup of coffee with my husband. Both of us were still in shock and numb. My husband had the day off from work and was home. For some reason I felt a strong desire to go back to bed. When I mentioned this to my husband he said "absolutely go ahead back to sleep". I asked him to wake me in a little while and he agreed. I think he was happy he could spend the day escaping reality by playing games on the Xbox 360 I crawled back into my bed, pulled the covers up around my shoulders, closed my eyes and then God answered my prayer. No sooner did my head hit the pillow when something started to happen to me. I felt no fear, remembering what I had prayed for. I knew this was my prayer being answered. The only way I can describe it is to say that there was a light in front of my eyes that came into me. It entered through the top of my head and pulsated down through my body. It was warm and incredibly loving. I knew instinctively that it was the light of God. When it filled my entire body I found that I was in a place of healing. My physical body felt like it had dissolved away giving me the feeling weightlessness. "I" my spirit, soul, consciousness was in a place of pure euphoric bliss. I was comforted and held in a place of intense love, unlike anything ever experience on earth. I was floating in a space of pure darkness, a swirling blanket of black velvet, while love continued to flow through my body. It was so incredible words cannot express the immense amount of love that I was feeling, I felt like I could burst. I remember clearly thinking that if this was death, that the feeling that I was experiencing - even if I did not see or come into contact with another human soul for eternity it would be fine. I could stay, drifting and floating in God's healing love for eternity. When my husband came into the room to wake me it was seven hours later. I thought I had taken a short nap, maybe and hour, two at the most. I could not believe that I was "gone" for seven hours. I could have stayed there forever. That experience changed EVERYTHING, nothing would ever be the same for me.